Everyone makes mistakes, but does everyone deserve a second chance? I'm all for giving second chances as long as a person doesn't take advantage of forgiveness. But being in the position of asking for a second chance absolutely sucks. It is the worst when the person forgives you, yet they tell you nothing will ever be the same again. I'd almost rather not be forgiven. To know I can't change anything about the future, no matter what, kills me. When someone tells you "it is what it is," and that things are "just different" now takes away the little hope I once had. I don't see the point anymore. What is the point of saying sorry, seeking forgiveness, and learning from mistakes when the other person doesn't give you the one chance you need.
I just don't know what to do, or how to make it better. I can't live in regret or guilt anymore for something that turned into a way bigger issue than it should have. I give up trying to win everyone back because clearly nobody knows the real me anymore. I'm tired of having to prove to people that I'm the same. If you knew me, you know me. And those who stick with me, stuck by me which I appreciate more than they currently realize. Believe me, I've given my fair share of "second" chances out to people who didn't deserve them, or didn't care to better from them, and have gotten it thrown back in my face. But I've never regretted giving someone another chance. I've only regretted NOT giving someone a second chance. That is something you'll have to live with. What if they died in a car crash and you suddenly have to live with how you shut them out, deleted them from your lives, and didn't at least hear them out. If someone means so much to you, why would you let them go that easily? At one point, they were the person you needed.
I know exactly how you feel, you do all you can and place ego aside for something you believe to be far greater then yourself; whether it be for family, friendships, a relationship just to hear that you most likely won't get the chance that you would give so easily, like you said it "takes away the little hope I once had... What is the point of saying sorry, seeking forgiveness, and learning from mistakes when the otherperson doesn't give you the one chance you need." I hate to keep quoting you (lol) but it's just true, "I'm tired of having to prove to people that I'm the same. If you knew me, you know me." It sad how others let fears of perpetual pasts prevent them from moving forward, or giving that one true second chance that could make all the difference. It baffles me and with that last part you nailed it, "If someone means so much to you, why would you let them go that easily? At one point, they were the person you needed." I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog, It makes feel like i'm not alone in my feeling. I still have hope.
ReplyDeleteBravo Larissa.
Aw, thank you. That comment made my whole night :) I'm glad I'm apparently not alone in these thoughts either. I think it's very true, even if most don't share the same belief.
ReplyDeleteNot a problem ^_^
ReplyDeleteIt's just a sad thing to think people could just give up, let go, not fight or whatever especially after they swore and made promises about what they would give and do. Hope is something that, in my opinion, never disappears. you may try talking yourself an heart out of having it but remnants will forever be. It's a shame words mean nothing anymore. And remember, You're Not Alone, i'm just hoping, waiting and praying for my second chance.
Well, I think you'll get a second chance if its' meant to be. If you don't, maybe it is to ensure you won't be disappointed again. A lot of times you wish for a second chance, and the cycle repeats itself and becomes more painful for everyone involved each time it happens. Just hope for the best, if anything.
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