Admit your Appreciation.

I'm one of those people who is easily annoyed, but easily excited. Something that would not irritate you would probably irritate me, and it's something I'm working on. But at the same time, small things make me so so happy. I can be in the worst mood and a little thing can turn that around for the rest of the day.

It makes me really happy when someone makes an effort to just make me laugh. If I post a status saying I'm in a bad mood and you ask "what's wrong?" It doesn't help much. But those people who will read it, not even reply to it, but then send me stuff to make me laugh without even caring what is wrong seriously makes my day. I love when people feel like it is their duty to change someone's mood. Probably because I am the same way. Or those people who force you to get out and forget about everything. Or even turn the issue you're dealing with into a joke. Or leave you a wall post saying "I miss you," or a text saying they are thinking about you. I love those little gestures. And I appreciate those people so much, I don't think they have any idea. I can't help but hope that I am that for them as well. I take that role as serious as anything in my life, I'm not sure why I care so much, but I do.

A couple months ago a prior best friend (although she still considers me one of hers) who I've lost touch with on and off for awhile texted me one day saying and I quote, "So I'm having like the worst couple of days ever and I could use a smile and you're the only person who can make me smile when I'm having a shitty day." Little things like that make me so happy. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right if someone would actually go to ME to feel better even though we don't even talk anymore. I got her to laugh after one text and we stopped talking shortly after a few more jokes. That night she sent me a goodnight text saying thanking me for cheering her up and that she loved me. I guess you never know the impact you have on people because most won't tell you. That's why when people pass away, they always regret not thanking them more, or not saying I love you one last time. Or simply thank you for being a friend. Thank you for being there. Thank you for making me smile. Simple little sentences like that go a LONG way, even if it's over a message. When I pass away I always want to be remembered as the things I love in other people. I want people to remember me as a positive person, despite my obvious negative outlooks, haha. A nice person despite my over excessive sarcasm. I feel like people wait until it's too late to say what they mean. It's just like the song, "If I die young," by The Band Perry, stating "It's funny when you're dead people start listening."I know I've regretted not telling past friends just how much they meant to me. Who knows if that could've changed something? I know that I try extra hard to stay in contact with the people who say they need me as a friend even if it's obviously a one-sided relationship. I'm willing to be in a friendship that hurts me more by them not being there back if I know I'm helping them. I'm working on that too, because I've realized it isn't fair to be there for the ones who aren't there for you back.

I guess my point is just say what you mean, mean what you say. Don't forget to say 'I love you,' don't forget to thank someone for making your day, don't be scared to admit your appreciation. I think that is a huge reason why the world is so corrupt. People just aren't nice because they don't feel good about being nice. If you don't feel appreciated for your good deeds, why do them, right? I know that sounds cruel, but it is true for most of the people I come across. People often times only do things for themselves. They help others to help themselves, it's horrible. But I believe change starts with one person. And if you show your appreciation, they will show theirs, and it will pass on. It's a great concept, let's try it :)

I love you for being crazy enough to read this whole thing :)<3 See? It's not so hard.