Bitter? Sweet?

So you probably know I have less than a week left here in Orange County. And you probably think I'm stoked about that since even before I got out of high school I was begging to get out of here. But now that its come down to it, I'm not as excited as I was in the beginning. Within the next month I'll be living on my own in a different city 8 hours away from anything familiar. Without my family, pets, friends, and regular spots. I'll have bills and school to worry about. I'll be 21. I'll have to learn how to do laundry, cook, and not get shot up on the street. I'll have to continue to keep my faith strong without having my regular church to go to every week, while being around people who will be much harder to say "no" too.




But anyway, here is a list of what I will miss about Orange County:
BITTER
-The sun.
-Disneyland.
-The canyon.
-My cat & dog.
-My friends.
-My DVR.
-Running at the RSM lake.
-Sunsets.
-My regular 24 hour fitness.
-My mom making me eat 685299 times a day.
-Not having to learn how to do laundry or cook for the most part.
-Being able to park pretty much anywhere without having to worry about street sweeping, or finding a spot.
-Flat streets.
-MY friends being able to just walk in my house without knocking.
-Having a living room.
-Random drives on PCH to Laguna Beach.
-Not bumper to bumper traffic everywhere.
-The beach.
-People I know I can trust.
-Hookah seshes.
-Night drives.
-Spectrum.
-Having money.
-A dishwasher.
-A washer & dryer.

Now, here is what I'm excited about.
SWEET
-A CHANGE other than Obama.
-Public transportation.
-Independence.
-Living in a city.
-Cute random stores that aren't in a stupid mall.
-Control.
-Meeting new people.
-New random adventures.
-A real university.
-A fresh start, a new beginning where my past won't haunt me.
-Studying things that actually interest me instead of math.
-Meeting people who aren't fake.
-Living in an area a TV show isn't based on.
-Making my own decisions, with less rules.
-Freedom.
-Not waking up and going to sleep with the smell of marijuana in my room.
-The "college experience".
-Seeing life through a new light.
-To test myself, my faith, my morals, my ambition, my friendships.
-To become more well rounded, less guarded, more accepting.
-The new vibe of a different environment completely the opposite of cookie cutter Orange County.
-Living in an apartment under MY name.
-A break from my family.
-Some distance from all the hurtful memories from all these years.
-To see which friends prove that distance doesn't matter. And to see who won't give up.
-Random good food other than the same stupid chain places. Ones that are open later than 8 on Sundays.
-Having things to do late at night other than driving around aimlessly.
-Being 21 in the city :)
-Having sport teams to root for.
-The nice green landscape instead of dry dirt and artificial trees.
-Hippies, peace signs, daisies <3



To sum it up, I really will miss a lot about Orange County, the place I called home for almost my entire 20 years of my life. It's hard to just get up and leave what you've always known. What you feel is safe. But how can you grow from something safe, and controlled? Your perception is weak, and your take on the world is would become worth little to nothing. You have to experience all that you can, meet all the people you can, learn all you can from anything possible, grow for the better, and help others grow positively through you. You have one life to live, you might as well make the most of it. I will never forget all the memories and friends I have made here and I really hope those can be maintained through the distance. I believe I will be able to find out who my real friends are, and some of that has already started before I have even moved. Being the naive person I am, this will truly test those who I consider good assets to my life. I really hope and pray that when I come back (which I will be visiting a lot, I promise), I will be able to pick up where I left off, and people won't let our memories only stay in the past, but also in the future. I know a lot of this sounds cliche, just bare with me, I'm not a fan either ;]